Wait, is this a date? January 30, 2010

Ahhh shit. I got tricked into a date.

Lately I’ve kind of noticed he has been facebooking me a lot. He has been a little more attentive as a friend. It finally happened.

While talking with a male friend whom I grew up with he pulled a “well lets do something next week.” In my mind I heard “let’s get a group of our friends and go out.”  Que the sinister music cause that boy tricked me.

 

I said of course and asked what he wanted to do. “I’ll pick you up, we can go get dinner around you. Then make some bad decisions.”

 

While I appreciate the humor I felt the lump in my throat. The lump of o crap you meant that.

But, I’m rollin with it. Cause why not?

Check back for an update. Hopefully he wont make a date fact sheet.

 

When I was you’re age.. January 28, 2010

It’s interesting isn’t it. How we all want to believe we know whats going on in our lives. What we want, what we need. I mean I want a new leather jacket but I NEED to eat for the next month so….

This brings me to my point. I have been dating a much older man for quite some time now. I find him intriguing because he reminds me of a foreigner. He is successful in his work, but what I consider to be socially awkward outside of it. He gives me advice, some I take, some I don’t, some I ask for, a lot I don’t.

He is leaving for good in a few weeks and over dinner the other evening (no it was not an early bird special meal.. he’s not THAT old) he brought up our age difference for the first time. He told me when I’m 30 I’ll have a much more clear perspective on what I want out of life.

I sort of agree… sort of. I think the only reason I will have a clearer perspective is because I will be a different person then. I have a clear perspective on the things I want now, and I hope to have a different one 5 years from now, and a new one 10 years from that, and so on. What I want when I’m 25 should certainly be different than what I want when I am 40. Thats not an age thing, thats a life thing. (By the way, for my friends out there, if I am still wearing some of the clothes I am now at 40 please slap me and remind me I can’t wear thigh high socks and mini skirts out with my kids).

I wonder often if I would date him again when I am 30, or 35. Would he be so intriguing? Would I? Or is it just the allure that the entire time it was a great experiment in expiration-dating, knowing within a year he’d be gone again.

Dating him has given me a lot to think about for the future. Thank God I still have my youth.

What do you think about expiration dating?

More important things than our little tantrums. January 15, 2010

ATTENTION: AT THIS CRITICAL TIME IN HAITI WE ASK YOU PLEASE DONATE A FEW DOLLARS OR A FEW MINUTES OF YOUR TIME TO THE AMERICAN  RED CROSS. They are beyond a wonderful organization that needs you. Please visit www.redcross.org. While you’re at it, think about getting CPR/ First Aid certified, you may need to save a life one day (or give your ex the Heimlich when they are choking on their words!)

If I was 5 years younger, these would be my boyfriends. January 15, 2010

Gotta love a feel good story. 

Click the story below from the Chicago Tribune to read about two guys who “love your hustle, and your boots”  The Dudes I Date could learn a thing or two!

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2pDkPe/archives.chicagotribune.com/2009/mar/13/nation/chi-compliment-guys-13-mar13

New Year, New You January 6, 2010

Ahhh yes. Resolution time. What shall I pretend to give up for about 5 minutes? Chocolate? Only if I want to murder someone…. drinks? Sure until Friday night? Bad dates? Can you give those up!? They are like an addiction.

But really, January is great time to reflect on where you are, where you were and where you want to go. Dating is no exception.

My first  resolution this year is to stop being Ms. Judgesalot on a first date. Who knows maybe they could be even cooler on a second.  Speaking of which… date two never happened with List Guy from the previous post. Who knows, maybe he wasn’t into my wild woman ways either.

Second is to give up my addiction to the bad boy. I know, this will be tough (isn’t there some type of celebrity rehab for this? do you think all of Colin Ferrells ex-girlfriends are there? Can they give me his number??)

Third is to stop calling back one of the dudes I date. I don’t even really like him yet like white chocolate (which we all know is the WORST chocolate) I just keep going back for more for no apparent reason.

Here’s to 2010, the year of giving up bad men (at the very least until February….. hopefully….)

 

What is your resolution?

Worst Date Ever December 21, 2009

I had such high hopes for this one, but I can’t say I’m surprised. I mean, you don’t become an expert on dating by going on only stellar dates.

Strike 1- He was 20 minutes late. It was excused because he called to say he would be late.

Strike 2- We got in the car and he had to pull over to check his “Date Fact Sheet” which was a typed, printed sheet of all the things we should do on the date. (Note- this would be seen as good if you are a post-it, label junkie)

Strike 3-100- He told me it was wrong that I have a male roommate and that women should not live with men until marriage.

and Strike 101- half way through date ONE he started calling me SWEETHEART. Are you serious?? The names Janet, Miss Jackson if you’re nasty. But seriously, pet name? And a dumb one at that? NO THANKS.

Use it at the office... not on a date

Ok ok in all fairness this guy was sweet. He took the time to write out on the fact sheet I am a vegetarian and took me to one of the nicest places in town just so I could get a veggie fix. Here is the conclusions I have come to:

1. Southern people should only date other Southern people, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. The north and the south really are just that different, and by God us Yankees are livin’ in sin with our mixed gender housing! When you’re beliefs are that different there really is little hope.

2. I love bad-boy image. Enough with fighting it, I like a rough guy. He has to be polite to my family but when you bite your tongue before swearing in front of me, I am going to get offended because honey, I am not sweet little belle who is under your level. Don’t get me wrong I don’t need to hear you swear like a sailor, but treat me like an equal. (By the way, when this happened it set me off so bad my mom would have washed my mouth out with soap had she heard the language coming out of my mouth.)

But hey, at least I gave it the old college try…. so don’t worry, I’m still on the market.

My first (Real) Date December 17, 2009

I’m going on a date on Friday. I sat today and thought about all my old boyfriends and came to the conclusion, I have never been on a true first date.

Everyone I’ve ever dated I have known for some extended amount of time. There was never the awkward “so, got any sisters? Brothers?” I already knew that, and most of their siblings too.

I met this guy though a girlfriend of mine at her holiday party. We hit it off pretty quickly. I think it is the Southern charm thing… but thats another problem. I already have the feeling I’m going to eat him alive. I don’t mean to sound rude or arrogant I just mean well, as my best friend would say I love “bad boy” image.  I don’t even want to change guys with bad boy image because they are fun to be around.

Sage advice came from my sister today when I told her I didn’t know how it would go since he is such a nice guy (he texted to ask if it was ok to call… which is sweet.. too sweet) she said “Yeah you love bad boys.. and look how far it’s gotten you”.

I’m giving it a shot. Check back on Dudes I Date this weekend for an update.

Any good first date stories out there?

ahh The Holidays. December 2, 2009

Being single over the holidays is amazing. In these hard economic times think of all the cash you will be saving!! (Spend it on a very glittery ensemble for New Years, the one day of the year I believe glitter to not be tacky).

But what if you just started dating someone new? How do you handle the conundrum of gift giving to someone you may have only been dating a month?

My favorite website for men is theartofmanliness.com. I believe every good man should read this, and live this lifestyle. If only all men were Don Draper the world would be a better place.

You sir, are both a gentlemen, and a scholar.

Their gift guide is filled with everything manly, not frilly and there is something on there any man would enjoy. And you single ladies? Check it out for your dad, grandpa, brother or non-sexual life partner.  From there list I put together a package for a Marine friend serving overseas filled with artisan meat snacks, movies, books, fake mustaches and an old school leather football. Men. Grunt.

The Guy Next Door is Getting Married… November 27, 2009

This past holiday weekend I was happily reunited with my high school friends (and less happily ran into old boyfriends, people I wasn’t even friends with in high school asking what I do now.. as if they, or I even care what we are respectively doing now).

To most of my group of friends surprise, my next door neighbor for life and man-hunt parter announced…. he proposed to his girlfriend. It is not to my chagrin, and we are all of course happy for him, I think it is more us, (and by us I mean me) reflect on where we are in our lives and why it is we aren’t in “that place”.

That much maligned place in life where you feel you are ready and willing to share everything with someone else, for EVER.  How do you get there? I do not know, but for him I think it was going through a rather traumatic year and her still sticking by his side to make him see he should probably stop getting wasted and peeing in the bushes, man up and marry her.  The scariest part about it is, we had a childhood pact if we weren’t married at 30 we would just marry each other… he was really cuttin it close for a minute! (No  My Best Friends Wedding, Julia Roberts needed here thanks!)

Will you marry me?? Check yes, no or maybe

Congratulations on your adventures ahead! I will be at the bar, still giving out my fake name and number.

 

How did you feel when your first friend got married?

Going Solo to a Wedding November 24, 2009

Yikes. Even that title hurts.  Going solo to a wedding can be rough.. if you let it.

You will find this saying in many parts of this blog, but thats because it needs to be drilled into your head: OWN IT. ROCK IT.  Who gives a hoot you’re going alone? You? Youre the only one. Your going to a wedding, not your wedding, your friends, cousins, brothers, bosses whoevers wedding. It’s not about you. Suck it up, and have fun! Wear something amazing, attract attention from the hottie single groomsmen. You will be shocked at how many other single guys are there, and I have been the date for enough of my guy friends to know, not every guy who has a date is taken.

Have fun with the person who invited you. Take lots of pictures, say you are playing photographer to spark up conversation. If it is a family wedding even better! Take this time to reconnect with your loved ones instead of pimping out guy of the moment to every aunt who ever asked “when are you having a baby??” (I DONT KNOW AUNT ETZA… MAYBE NEVER.. sorry Aunt Etza)

Badgley Mischka, makes more than wedding gowns!

The point is just have fun, and celebrate someone elses day, yours will come.